OK, let's drag this blog up back from the dead. I'm home from Afghanistan, and it's back to work, kids, school, coaching and music. And the blog! It' s been hard to find time to put together the blog in the September school/sports tsunami. However, I realized that, while in Kabul, I had oodles of time to research and massage my blog posts into pretty polished pieces.
But then I thought that pretty much everything I write is scintillating, so I don't really have to spend all this time and sweat putting together the perfect post. Wing it.
So while I was over there I got laid off from my permanent job with Environment Canada. Actually I got laid off, jumped to another job, and then that position was eliminated too. So I went through the seven stages of grief while I was over there and came out the other end ready for a new challenge.
Well it turns out they still managed to dredge up yet another position for me to do in the gummint. Please stay, they asked, you are still a valued member of our management team. Well excuse me if I can't feel the love!
So then it was the tough decision, as so eloquently phrased by The Clash: "Should I stay or should I go now."
My inclination was to pull up stakes and open up my own company. But then, my party-pooper wife asked me if I had any kind of plan. "You've known me 15 years, " I said, "Have I ever, once, had a plan?" When I go on to my Great Reward, you can stick the following epitaph on my tombstone.
Anyway, my argument failed to convince her, so here I am back as a snivel servant. The dream of opening up my own company is not gone, just postponed. Apparently I have to come up with a plan first. Sheesh. Serioulsy though, she had to deal with a lot while I was over in Kabul, and it wasn't fair to get back and throw away my career for another adventure.
And honestly, I should be grateful to even have such a dilemma. And I am grateful. Many of the workers laid off from Environment Canada are 50-something career bureaucrats landing in a tough job market. They're the ones that have it tough right now.
I was kind of self-congratulatory about having come back from the war psychologically unscathed. But I'm not quite so unaffected as I thought. For instance, I've lost interest in the news.
It's not that I'm disengaged. I just find the media a distraction now. In the immortal words of Jane's Addiction "The news is just another show." After what I've seen, outrage over a bike lane on Thurlow just doesn't ping on my GaF meter. I used to find those foreign affairs editorials in the weightier tomes like the Economist so insightful. But I can't get into them any more. I think those writers, for the most part, have a memory of about four months. Anything that happened more than four months ago is happening for the first time. "OMG, Israel and Palestinian Territories Miffed at Each Other!" "Iran Saber-Rattling!"
I think what happens with these foreign policy analysts is that they have to stay so on top of things, geopolitically, all the time, that their heads get filled up with a constant barrage of low quality information, and the old stuff gets pushed out. It's like those poor guys who only have a memory of 15 minutes. Before that and it all fades to mist. So these unfortunate souls are in a constant state of "Oh my God, this is unreal. I gotta write this down."
The other thing I noticed since I got back is that I am horrified by the waste. The Afghans were very efficient. Everything got used. Even what they threw away was mostly cleaned up by the vagrant kids, then the dogs and then the goats. We waste so much. At least a third of our food, apparently, ends up in a dump. Not just the food, but the water, the energy, the mindless consumerism of "toss it and buy a new one." I wouldn't say I'm angry about it. I think it's just human nature that we don't conserve unless we're forced to conserve. I just feel a bit like I'm living in a vomitorium.
And finally, I always had this sense of entitlement. One of the more unappealing aspects of Canada is that we are a little oversubscribed in the area of smug.
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| Canadian William Shatner demonstrates Canadian smug. |
I suppose I had it too; the idea that Canada was such an oasis of serenity in a world of chaos because we were doing it right. Well those poor shoeless waifs in Kabul didn't do anything wrong except have the misfortune to be born in the armpit of the planet. And most of my prosperity comes not from my sterling character and limitless drive, but from just being lucky enough to have been born here.
In other news I'll shortly be publishing a few stories and a couple of books through Smashwords, and I may as well warn you now that I'll be flogging them here mercilessly. More on that later. Much more. Ha ha ha.
