Up the Irons: A Personal Tribute to Iron Maiden

It was pretty much pre-ordained that I was going to be a rock'n'roller.   When I was just seven a friend of my older brother introduced me to Alice Cooper and "School's Out."  If there is a hard rock song out there accessible to a seven year old, it has to be that one. 

           

            No more teachers, no more books

            No more teachers dirty looks...

            School's been blown to pieces

I could relate, you want I mean?

I don't remember the guy's name, even what he looked like, but I still remember exactly what his room looked like. It was in the basement with not much light and wallpapered with rock posters.  He  had a picture of Donny Osmond on his dart board.  And he had an Alice Cooper poster that probably looked like this:

It was this or Donny Osmond

And I remember the guy telling me that Alice Cooper had a certificate proving he was insane.  It made sense to me--who on Earth would change their name to  girl's name?  Ugh! 

Then, in England, another older friend introduced me to Queen, playing some tracks he liked from Queen II.  This was just before Queen hit superstardom with "Bohemian Rhapsody" and they were still very much an underground band.  Although, at ten, I was too young to really "get" Queen, I had never heard anything like Freddie Mercury's operatic vocals, and, as a student of classical piano, the symphonic sound appealed to me.

Note the lighting effect to hide the fact that they are all butt-ugly.

 Then, as a teenager, I was at a party when someone played a song that started with the immortal Vincent Price intoning "Woe to you, O Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the Breast with wrath..."  That went into a frenetic, galloping sonic assault called "The Number of the Beast."  Pretty mellow in comparison to later bands like Metallica and Avenged Sevenfold, but by contemporary standards, this was sheer heaviness.   I was hooked right away.  Soon after, they even got radio play (rare for a heavy metal band at the times) with "Run to the Hills."

Where would people get the idea that Iron Maiden was Satanic?

Iron Maiden was one of the earliest concerts I went to.  These guys put everything into their live show and toured relentlessly.  I saw them four times in as many years, I think.  They always had the greatest productions and put 110% into every show.  I was never disappointed. Well except maybe when they hired Twisted Sister to back them up.  Poor Dee Schneider, Twisted Sister's singer, got beaked by a pizza box when he played in Vancouver. No offence, Dee, but that nose of yours was an easy target.

See what I mean, with the schozz?

The lads in concert.

Iron Maiden's musical style again appealed to my classical sensibilities from all those years of piano.  (By now I'd switched to guitar, much to my mom's chagrin, but bless her soul, she went out an bought me an electric guitar.)  Most of the heavy rock'n'roll up to that time--Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Aerosmith--was based on the pentatonic, or five-note, scale that gave it that blues-oriented feel.  Iron Maiden guitarists Adrian Smith and Dave Murray used the classical seven-note scale, primarily in the minor keys, combined with complex guitar harmonies.  The rhythm section--Steve Harris on bass and Nicko McBrain on drums--were fast and incredibly tight.  And Bruce Dickinson, the singer, had incredible range and power and leaned into every syllable.  He also had a great sense of dynamics building from a baritone growl to a gut-wrenching scream.

Steve Harris, the bass player, was also the band's primary songwriter.  They got into a lot of trouble with "Number of the Beast" as  a band of Satanists, and their records were promptly burned in some areas of the southern US.  But (unlike, say, Alice Cooper) their entire stage presence and songwriting wasn't exclusively dedicated to evil.  Even if you listen to their "horror" songs, lyrically they are more akin to, say, an Edgar Allen Poe story than "Let's all go get bent and worship the devil." 

Many of their best songs were actually about wars.  The Trooper is based on the Charge of the Light Brigade, an epic poem about the Crimean War. Aces High is about World War II flying aces.  And Run to the Hills is about the war between the North American Indians and white settlers from Europe.  They’ve also done heavy metal versions of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Murders in the Rue Morgue, and the old British TV classic The Prisoner.  Quite eclectic.

Iron Maiden went out with the 80s.  A new age of metal heralded by Slayer, Pantera and especially Metallica, with a more raw, heavier sound and without the spandex.  Iron Maiden suffered from association with the 80s hair bands, which was unfortunate.  Iron Maiden pushed musical boundaries and were one of the hardest working acts in rock'n'roll.  They deservedly enjoyed a resurgence in the early 2000s, selling out stadiums again world-wide.  Sure there were more beer guts and balding pates in the crowd, and their sound was now decidedly "retro," but good music never dies.  And Iron Maiden was, in my opinion anyway, a bright spot in the cultural dead zone that was the music of the 80s.

While other rock stars were busy picking up various drug addictions, Bruce Dickinson was busy becoming an internationally competitive fencer and a jumbo jet pilot.  In 2006, Dickinson flew in a Boeing 757 and rescued about 200 stranded British citizens caught in Lebanon during the Israel/Hezbollah crisis.  

Flight 666.  

My son watched the Iron Maiden documentary Flight 666 about five times on a flight from Vancouver to Cape Breton, and was quite enamored with Bruce Dickinson.  So as for Oscar having a role model who's a rock, star, swordfighter and heroic pilot--I'm OK with that.

Have a listen to Maiden playing "Run to the Hills" at Rock in Rio" in 2001.  To a crowd of 350,000.  Incredible energy.   Up the Irons!

Rock and Roll Requiem

The Times They Are a'Changing.  We have Rocked Around the Clock, my friends. Let's gather around and listen to that haunting tune by Neil Young, and hold our hats to our hearts as Rock and Roll climbs the Stairway to Heaven.

Hey Hey, My My
Rock 'n' Roll will never die.

Sure sure, you say. We've heard it all before. When the Sex Pistols came out and Rolling Stone magazine declared that "Rock is Sick."  Or when rock became of a parody of itself with the hair bands of the 80s. Or when the 60s rock star actually hit 60.

"I still look better than Keef."

But last year at this time, the Guardian reported that a measly three tracks of the top 100 songs in 2010 fell in the rock genre--and one of them was a thirty-year old Journey ballad called Don't Stop Believin'.  Doesn't look any better for this year.  I checked the Billboard Top 100 for 2011 and counted three rock acts again (and counting Avril Lavigne is a stretch).  So that's two years in a row where rock and roll accounts for a whopping three percent of the top 100 hits.

She's just run her course, from Elvis, to the greasers, to the British Invasion, to Psychedelic, to hard rock, to glam, to punk, to metal, to New Wave, to grunge, to indie.  Fifty years of guitars and sweat; sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. 

That's not to say it will die; that would be a bit melodramatic.  It will join the genres of ages past as part of the Museum of Music.  There's still great jazz bands around, long after the days of the hep cats and jive beats.  The blues, baroque, folk, bluegrass.  All still there.  But they no longer prevail, no longer capture the zeitgeist.

Lay the blame where you please. Simon Cowell and his schlock reality shows, greedy record companies and their accelerating revolving door of the Next Big Thing, technology replacing musicians the way machines replaced factory workers.  But like everything else, like us, Rock and Roll grows old; it withers under the weight of its years.  The way rock, with its electric amplifiers swept aside the clarinets and trombones, so the computers are sweeping aside the old tube amplifiers. 

"But these techno guys can't even play an instrument?"  No.  Neither could those early rockers.  How do you think those jazz guys felt--woodshedding for years to get their chops down--to see these pimply teenagers power-chording their way to riches.  Malcolm Young (rhythm guitar, AC/DC) has probably got a 50' yacht thanks to G, D and C chords.  (No offence, Malc--if I were in a band with Angus, I'd stick to chords too.)

It's passing is bittersweet. I'll rock to the end, with my friends, in garages, studios and questionable joints everywhere.  And I'll always love it, but I will not over-mourn its passing.  Rock and roll melded with other kinds of music and made beautiful babies.  A little bit of Alice Cooper in Lady Gaga. A little Black Sabbath in that trance beat. 

I'll miss the poetry.  I mean, I like the party music, the LMFAO and the Lady Gaga, but it lacks the poetry of John Lennon, Pink Floyd, Bon Scott.  The current crop of pop music lacks that honesty and self-reflection. But this too shall pass, as the pendulum swings.  Early rock-n-roll wasn't all that stellar in the lyric department, as I recall ("I found my thrills...", "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah...")   And I'll miss rock-n-roll ugly.  It's all polish and pretty and perfume now.

Then (Shane McGowan, Motorhead)

Now (Adam Levine, Rihanna) 

On the other hand, I like the way that control has been wrested from the record companies.  Digital sharing of music has shaken up the system, decentralized control from the conglomerates and created an environment of chaos where, I think, creativity will thrive and new and unexpected things will arrive.

Sure the labels are predicting the end of music.  But music will always be there, and it will always be transcendent and divine.

Incidentally, right now I'm listening to Otep, Smash the Control Machine, and Five Finger Death Punch, Generation Dead, and Muse, Exogenesis.  All good, relatively new stuff, IMHO.

Anyway, you may not agree with me, but I'm right and you're wrong.  So there. 

So let's raise a toast, shall we?  A toast to St John of Liverpool, and Jim Morrison and Janis and Jimi and George and Kurt and Keith. To being 14, drunk and giddy, walking into your first arena rock concert.  To making out to Led Zeppelin III.  To pulling Wish You Were Here, brand-new, out of it's record sleeve, careful to handle it only by the edge.  To listening to Fool to Cry over and over again after your first heartbreak.  To the sweaty mosh pit at the Commodore when Pearl Jam played there before they made it.  To the soundtrack of my wild and beautiful youth.  You Rock, rock'n'roll.

But enough about me, what do YOU think about me?

Out of the basement

And into your brain.

     -- Blood Clot

I've just realized that I've been blogging away for some time now without ever discussing my favourite subject: me.  As many of you know, I can go on about me for hours.  The subject is just an endless source of fascination for me.  Many's the time, in days of yore, I'd hold entire kitchen parties spellbound with tales of me.

Boring, compared to me.

Most of you probably know me a the piano player from Skystone from all those years reeling off Newfie tunes at the old Trap and Gill in downtown Vancouver, but I'm actually primarily a guitar man. 

I sang and played guitar for a few years with Blood Clot ("Out of the Basement and Into Your Brain"), with my good friends Shayne MacDonald, Corey MacDonald and Dan Jamieson but unfortunately (or fortunately) that was in the Dark Ages before YouTube so no record exists.

Around 1995, Blood Clot was in some Battle of the Bands at the World Famous Astoria Hotel on Hastings Street (aka Skid Row) in Vancouver.  We were pretty loud and the regulars complained that it made the dust rain from the rotting acoustic ceiling tiles when we played.  S'OK though we'd always buy 'em more beer.  Then they loved us.

Cheap TVs in the parking lot, but you didn't hear it from me.

One time one of the ladies of the night working the area staggers into the joint and stops in the middle of the dance floor, stares up at us, and starts grooving. The bouncer ran up to throw her out. "What?" she complained, "I fixed outside."  Little did she realize the needle was still sticking out of her leg.  Good times. 

Blood Clot was a pretty good band, and might have made a name for ourselves if any of us had have been born with a motivation bone. As it was, I quit the band when I realized even the drummer was getting laid more than me.  That's what I said.  The drummer.  I know, right?


Here's the Blood Clot song "Rage" (audio only).  I'm not that angry anymore.  Really.

After the Clot, there was the insanity the depression, the booze, the women, the stark nights of terror, before joining Skystone through my good buddy Adrian Duncan.  Adrian Duncan is a fascinating fellow and one of the most incredible musicians I've had the pleasure to play with. But as we are talking about me, we shall dispense with the subject of Adrian.  I switched to mostly piano with this band, figuring was that a piano player should get laid more than a drummer.


Anyways the hard thing about Skystone was that, despite playing two instruments--piano and guitar--I was still the worst musician in the band.  Adrian plays about ten instruments, sings, conducts, entertains the crowd and has forgotten more songs than I'll ever know.  Saul Schneider and Mary Brunner bring the house down with their fiddling.  Gary Kennedy was a percussionist extraordinaire and had a kickass R&B voice.  Even the bass player had me beat.  Kenny Ogilvie didn’t sing, didn't play any other instruments, and pretty much just stood there like a mannequin.  But I've been playing with the guy for more than ten years now and I swear he's never hit a bad note.  Anyways, clearly I couldn't stay in a band where my inherent magnificence was not immediately recognizable.  

Skystone.  This drummer got laid more than me too.

So me and my good buddy Adrian started up a caving band wiht buddy Pete Curtis called Dangeous Dick and the Duckbusters.

We met jamming in Resonance Cave, Vancouver Island.

We are probably, it must be said, the most famous ever band that sings songs exclusively about caves.  Probably, it must be said, the only band that sings songs exclusively about caves.  Also, since the band has no drummer, the drummer doesn't get laid more than me.  Ha!

Dangerous Dick and the Duckbusters.  Adrian Duncan on the right.

Me doing a bubblehead.  This is the kind of stuff you have to do when you got no talent.

Here's one of favourite Dangerous Dick tunes.  Snappy little number featuring Adrian on madnolin and banjo.  And bass.  And singing.  Dammit, Adrian, am I even on this one?  

	Dangerous Dick & the Duckbusters - Mole in a Hole .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

We've got three CDs under our belt so far and have played internationally (and by internationally, I mean an hour's drive south of the border in Bellingham.  Still counts though. You can buy our CDs at the Cancaver website.  All proceeds to the Canadain Cave Conservancy.


I've had the pleasure of jamming with so many great friends over the years, and I'm looking forward to many more years of jamming.  Maybe even with my kids. Like Bach.  He had like fifteen kids and they'd all jam.

Jamming with good friends Yo Thornton (harp), Derek Miller (drums) and some dude from The Odds.
A great memory.

Sucks that I can't play over here though.  One of the magical things about music is its ability to bring people together.  I'm sure if we cranked some Judas Priest, those Taliban would throw down there arms and start giving 'er one of these...

Richard Simmons rocking the frizz-cut.  Oops, I mean Ronnie James Dio

When I get back from Afghanistan, as a gift to myself, I'm buying myself a Gibson ES-335

Alex Lifeson of Rush, playing a 1976 Gibson ES-335.
Still love all those Rush songs...that Geddy doesn't sing in.

But enough about me, what do you think about me?  Feel free to provide comments about me below.

What's the Best Band You Never Liked

OK easy one today.  I'm taking a survey, so please drop a note in the comments section, wouldya?

Topic:  Best band or act that you never liked.  This is the band that, for all intents and purposes, you should love.  They play the kind of music you generally dig, you can't really think of any specific thing you dislike about the band; maybe even you pretend to like them because everyone else is always talking about what a great band they are.

I've got a couple on my list.

Remember Yes?  No?  Well, I'm definitely aging myself here. Early 70s prog-rock band.  Roundabout.  Owner of a Lonely Heart.  What a line up. You’ve got the tasty Steve Howe on the ol' six-string, Bill Bruford on drums, pioneer Chris Squire on bass, prodigy Rick Wakeman on keyboards, all fronted by the ethereal choirboy vocals of Jon Anderson.  Each song they wrote was a musical opus; these boys were dedicated to their craft. What's not to like?  Here they are:  

We're very serious.  Except the one with the hat.

I love Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, King Crimson, Rush and other prog-rock bands of the same era. But never could get into Yes. Tried.  Didn’t happen. 

The other one, I'm sorry to say, is The Tragically Hip. I hate not liking thse guys,  First off, it may be my wife's favourite band.  Plus, isn't it downright unpatriotic not to like the Hip?  Unlike Yes, I actually love some songs by the band--Wheat Kings live, Nautical Disaster, Hundredth Meridian.  And Gord Downie is a rock-n-roll poet of the highest caliber.  But apart from a few memorable riffs, I find a lot of the back-up tracks kind of prosaic and repetitive from song to song.  Maybe it's the whole noodling on the slide guitar every song or something.  

iPhone Tragically Hip button.

On the flip side, here's an act that I, by all rights, should have hated, but ended up loving:  Merle Haggard.  My friend Jill thought he was the greatest. I thought she was just being iconoclastic ol' Jill, but turns out he is pretty awesome. I really shouldn't like him.  Never been a huge country music fan.  Merle out-rednecks Toby Keith and out-twangs Dwight Yoakam. When they make jokes about country music, they're talking about Merle.  But he's heck of a singer, a great fiddler and underrated guitar picker.  And as far as I'm concerned, writes some of the finest drinking songs there is.

Merle:  Think I'll Just Stay Here and Drink

I did a quick survey at the office and so far got:  Supertramp, Aerosmith and Bryan Adams. 

Anyways, I'm interested in hearing about the best band that you don't like.  Comment section below.  Let 'er rip!